Passion, Part 3: your identity is defined by who you *are*, not what you *do*
At schools, we receive grades. At work, we receive performance reviews.
But do you give your loved ones grades and performance reviews? If marriage and dating were solely based on what they do, we would all have to only marry billionaires — and that terrifies me. Instead, we say our vows with the ones for who they are, not what they do, despite their specks and flaws and all.
What they do is only one part of who they are. However, I see that many unknowingly fall into the trap of fully shaping their identities as what they do.
America — of all countries — is frenzied with doing and producing more, and as much as we can. As with many things, nothing is inherently wrong. Raising funding for a start-up is not an evil deed, and many social entrepreneurs have raised funding for good causes. Some avidly pursue promotion in their workplace— in the hopes of helping others in need. And they will feel more valued in society.
But what if they didn’t? Then would they be less valued?
The problem is that we define our worth based on our performance. Our hearts sink in disappointment when we don’t perform to our expectations — and we are endlessly told to never, never give up. It is true that we should remain persistent, but does that mean you are less worthy now than you were before just because you stumbled? I hope you remember that your intrinsic value will always remain invaluable: and so.
Being (oneself) is a complex buckyball. But I can conclude that doing is only part of being. I hope you can find other pieces of the puzzle. It is far less costlier to un-do, than to un-be.
